March 5, 2024

As I sit here on my couch, my emotions are overwhelming. The first two months of the year have been a blur. The year started strong, I was feeling well and managed to go on a much-needed vacation with my mom. But upon returning home, the symptoms came back worse than ever. It's hard to think back, in more ways than one, on the days I've felt myself, as they are few and far between. 

As a millennial people pleaser, being stuck on the couch, not working, and not taking care of daily chores is tough. Laundry piles up, dishes sit in the sink...and I continue to sit. This post is not me trying to seek sympathy but to express my feelings and emotions in real-time. To be real and vulnerable and to document my journey. 

I'm waiting to schedule an appointment with a new otolaryngologist. In mid-February, I was seen by a vestibular specialist and pointed in the direction of Superior Canal Dehiscence Syndrome (SCDS). The otolaryngologist would perform a hearing test and schedule a CT Scan. SCDS is a rare syndrome that affects less than 2% of the population and while this diagnosis would be great, it's extremely scary. If this syndrome isn't found to be the cause of my problems, I would return to the vestibular specialist and start treatment for Persistent Postural Perceptual Dizziness. 

I know the dizziness I'm experiencing is out of my control, but I can't help feeling guilt. I feel guilty for missing work, guilty for not keeping up with household chores, and guilty for Skyler's increased responsibilities.

I think it's time to create some realistic goals.

• a 15-minute walk each day 
  
• step outside at least once each day
• make my bed each morning

These goals don't sound like much but trust me, they're a lot. Hopefully, by doing these daily tasks I can feel more productive, get my body moving, and feel more like myself even on the toughest of days. Stay tuned...